Just like unicorns, those type of dogs don’t exist

doggy unicornEver since I’ve been blogging about dogs and dog related stories, I’ve had a few friends of mine come up to me and ask about dogs. I think i need to make a confession: I’ve only had dogs for about a year and I really don’t know much about dogs, training dogs, dog nutrition, etc.

Actually, I spend a quite amount of time online reading dog info and watching dog training videos. The trick is to actually APPLY what you learned, so I do. Some of these tips do work, and some don’t. The ones that do, i blog about them.  So I guess when my friends read them, they think I’m like the PawshPal.com Dog Whisperer or something.

But I do get some of the most ridiculous questions, especially those that are interested in getting a dog. I’ve compiled some of them; here are the most frequently asked ones and my responses:

1. What type of dog can I get that doesn’t bark, shed hair, or won’t eat and poop too much?

A dead one.

The dog that you just described doesn’t exist. In Disney movies, maybe. Real life, no.

2. Is it true that dogs fart and have diarrhea?

Come smell my dog after I give him some tofu.

3. Do all dogs need to be walked? I heared breeds like pomeranians and shitzus don’t need it.

If you want your dog to get fat, be a plethora of health problems, get rowdy around the house, and poop all over the dog, no. Otherwise, yes. It doesn’t matter what breed or size.

4. Can I borrow your dog for a weekend to see if I like it?

Can I borrow your kids to see if I like having kids?

5. I can’t get a male dog because they’ll hump my leg.

Please. Don’t flatter yourself. Your leg is not THAT sexy. In fact, female dogs, especially dominant female dogs, will lift their leg to urinate and “hump” other dogs or objects.

6. I can’t stand watching dogs hump each other. It’s disgusting.

It’s not just about sex. It’s usually more about social dominance than actual reproducing. In fact, neutering and spaying are not a sure cure for humping.

7. Should I buy or adopt?

If you have a heart, please adopt dogs. There’s way too many in shelters that need your love. All of my dogs were adopted.

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  • […] I also recently met a lady who had a shitzu / pomeranian mix that basically lives inside one of those doggy fence compounds that you build inside the house in a corner. She’s had this dog for 3-4 years and basically, that dog spends 18-20 hours behind the ‘bars’. She even made a pee area for the dog to pee on inside the confinement because she doesn’t walk her dogs. I asked her if she walks the dog, and her reply was, ‘no, that dog doesn’t need to be walked’. (Apparently, she never read my blog post about how there is no such thing as a dog that does not need to be walked). […]

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