What if dogs could talk?

In cat, dog, Funny

family_guy-brian_griffinI am sure all dog (and well, cat) owners have at one point thought, “what if my pet can talk? wouldn’t that be great?” I personally think it would be more than just awesome. I think it would change our lives in ways that we cannot even fathom.

Take Brian Griffin from the animated TV show Family Guy. This guy is basically the baby sitter, wise advisor, and an alcoholic who gets into all kinds of troubles and gets other Griffins out of trouble.

Sure, it’s just a cartoon. Yuck yuck, ha ha. But there is this universal theme that all pet owners wonder… do they understand us? And if so, we’d love for them to respond back to us in a language we can understand.

Crazy you say? Well, there are some books that seem to have “agreed” with this crazy concept:

That’s a quite lot of crazy people out there wondering this crazy thing.

But truly, how would your life change if your pet was capable of speaking your language? How would life be different? Here are some of my ideas for my dogs.

  1. Dogs will tell me WHEN they need to go eat, poop, and/or pee.
  2. I would ask them what kind of treats and toys they like, so I don’t have to buy and find out they don’t  like what I bought… (stores don’t take back toys with drool on them unfortunately).
  3. My dog Cocoa loves to hump other dogs and I would ask him why he does that, then ask him cut it out and explain to him why I don’t him doing that (i.e. lawsuit, injury, vet bill, etc.)
  4. When they do something bad and I punish them, they can ask why and we’d explain.
  5. When they behave like dogs (especially the pack mentality), I would ask why they do what they do.
  6. I would ask them to get a JOB that requires only his voice, such as telemarketer or customer service rep.

I got a zillion other ideas but I’ll save them for later. But I think I’m onto something with #6. Might pursue that further (when my dogs learn to speak)

telemarketer dog

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